Let me tell you a little about Yvethe and how we met!
It's funny but we had served side-by-side in the same ministry
for about one year, all without "noticing" each other. And all it
took was a 20 minute conversation to feel drawn to each other, her
birthday party a few days later to convince me to get to know her, and
quality time each day for us to fall in love and get married. After
meeting her friends and family at her birthday party (I didn't even
speak with Yvethe!), I was convinced that I wanted to get to know
her more. In fact, I told her she was the "one and only" woman I
wanted to get to know. We spoke every day since then and never
imagined anything like this would happen! We laughed about how we felt like we
were 14
again! She is absolutely perfect for me and for the first time in
my life I am truly in love! God made everything new and exciting for the both of us
and we couldn't be happier.
The funny part is this: We were technically "just friends"
until November 24th, 2005 (Thanksgiving). God
showed the both of us to wait three months before being a couple,
even though we knew we had strong feelings for each other. Those three months were a
preparation time, a time for us to really get to know each other, to
pray and seek the Lord for His will and guidance, a time to "live
above reproach," "avoiding every appearance of evil," (1 Th. 5:22)
and not giving anyone a reason to question our relationship... We
were both in leadership at church and had a lot of people
looking up to us. So, for instance, during those three months we
didn't have any physical interaction (not even holding hands), and we
couldn't have been happier! We have made "no provision for the flesh" as
the Bible says and I am loving it! We knew we were attracted to each
other but we recognized that we didn't "need" the physical
at that time.
It only hinders and distracts from what God wants to do and the
blessing He wants to pour out. It's like fasting from food, and when
you get to finally eat, every little bit is delicious! That time came
and we are both glad we waited. We
couldn't be more happy and blessed!
After Thanksgiving we started holding hands and kissing, but we made
sure our kissing was limited to tender pecking, and we never "French
kissed." There were also a lot of conversations
we agreed not to have until the appropriate time came. She and I
were careful to guard our hearts and conversations
related directly to us being engaged, married, anything sexual, etc.
We considered those inappropriate for us until the right time came, for we promised to
each other not to awaken love until the time is right (Song of
Solomon 2:7, 3:5 and 8:4).
During this time, I believe we had never been closer to God and we
were growing
closer to Him like never before. It was even during a unique time
where God called me out of the routine of my life to specifically "seek His face,"
that she came into my life. Yvethe and I prayed every morning
and every night right before we went to bed (on the phone). During the
first three months of our relationship we also avoided
spending time alone together (there were always family or friends
around). We also had what is called "accountability partners" which
we had chosen to be accountable to. This means we were completely
open about our relationship to them and they could ask us anything,
making sure we were keeping our convictions and offering Godly advice. They
were also so close (they lived with us), that we couldn't hide anything from them. I had
a wonderful Christian roommate for this, but also a pastor I met with
every week. We were surrounded by advisers (Proverbs 11:14, 15:22,
24:6) from the very beginning. She had her best friend
(who led her to the Lord) and also her
Christian
Aunt who
was staying
with her. God even used Yvethe and I together on a regular basis
to minister to individuals and couples He brought into our
life, which continues to this day. He has shown us tremendous favor
with Him and others. Proverbs 18:22 says, "He who finds a wife finds
what is good and receives favor from the Lord." The word for finds
does not mean we are looking for a wife, it can be better translated
"find himself with." I believe this also applies to both the man and
the woman, and it doesn't mean we had to be married to enjoy
this. God knew we were going to get married and I never had this same kind of favor
before. People were approaching us like never
before and not just because we were both so happy and outgoing. Guys
were
coming up to me regularly asking for advice, counsel or prayer.
Yvethe and I even took Biblical counseling together to be
more effective, and we both know God is calling us to continue to do this
together. I'm also amazed at how many people were approaching us,
inquiring about our relationship, and expressing how they feel, which
was been overwhelmingly positive! For example, we had dinner with
four of our friends and I briefly went to speak to someone at another table.
While I was away, our waitress Angie came over to Yvethe and asked her if I
was her husband. She replied "no" (we weren't at the time) and
Yvethe asked why she
thought so. The waitress said,
"Well, I noticed the way you look at each other and I want a
husband to look at me the same way he looks at you." We have
kept in touch with Angie and she has found a lot of inspiration from
our relationship, even telling others our testimony and directing
them to this website. A few days
later, one of Yvethe's friends said the same exact thing to her,
that she wanted what we have. Yvethe's Aunt, whom she lives with, told me that she knew I was the
one for Yvethe from the beginning, yet with another great Christian
guy Yvethe met before me (and whom Yvethe liked a lot), she knew he
wasn't the one, and Yvethe knew it independently as well. They are
still friends and he's now even a friend of mine, which I think says a
lot. He recently got married to a long-time friend of his and is
happy.
I am convinced that God guides His children in this
decision, to "the one" who is best for them. It is important to hear His voice and let Him lead you,
but even in spite of you, He can guide you. God has a good,
perfect and pleasing will and He says, "Do not be foolish but
understand what the Lord's will is." This is the most important
decision you will ever make as a Christian so why wouldn't God be willing or able to lead you in this
decision or reveal His will? I am convinced he does and know He did in this
case. I am also convinced this is something the enemy works hard to
prevent so we must hear from God and have His protective covering. For more information on this, go to my page on
Finding a Wife/Husband.
So who is Yvethe? Yvethe is the most beautiful woman in the world
to me, both inside and out! She is obviously physically attractive,
but I first fell in love with her heart and personality, and I am
really glad I did. Our relationship was never based on physical
attraction in any way, and if something happened to her physically,
I would still be in love with her. We all get older and our bodies
change, but that will never change the love I have for this woman.
We also have kept this relationship pure and that is only by His
grace and favor (Proverbs 18:22). She is not only gorgeous but
she has a "heart of gold" and is more concerned about others than
herself. She is also very smart, graduating from Harvard and is now
in Management at a large international company. She has traveled
all over the world and is a gifted and dynamic speaker. But her most
wonderful asset is her heart for God and she is truly walking the
walk as a Christian woman, and without compromise! She has very
strong convictions and I have a tremendous amount of respect for
her. She is truly a
"Proverbs 31" woman! I am also proud of the fact that she
loves the Lord more than she loves me, and I pray and strive for that to always
be the case. We believe God made us for each other and because of
this I believe I could never be more loved by another woman.
Now remember the "three-month test?" We didn't realize this
at the time but
our three-month test ended on Thanksgiving (Nov. 24, 2005). This was also
her spiritual birthday (Two years of being a Christian) and I don't think that was any coincidence.
When she got saved, what spoke to her the most is that she was a new
creation in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17) and that God has forgiven and redeemed her.
Therefore it is significant to both of us that her salvation and our
relationship happened to be on the same exact day (Nov. 24th). In addition, her birthday and my spiritual
birthday are during this same week as well, and my birthday is a
24th as well. We first met on
a 24th (July), started the "three month test on August 24th, and on Thanksgiving (Nov. 24th), we had both of our families get together. Her father
came from Venezuela and stayed until December 1st, giving him and I
time to get to know each other.
Yvethe's mother joined us by web cam because she got
injured and couldn't travel.
Thanksgiving was absolutely wonderful! I got to know her father
before that day and we even went to dinner together. We really liked each
other and this meant a lot to the both of us. I told him how much I
loved and respected his daughter and explained that I consider his
blessing on our relationship very important. I promised to always respect her and treat
her right. Thanksgiving came and we all met at my parents' condo.
My mother prepared a delicious meal and everything went great. We
even got to see and speak to her mother in Venezuela and her brother
in Boston on the computer by video teleconference (webcam). At
dinner, Yvethe placed small cards at each place setting which said
the following:
After dinner, Yvethe and I each said a few things and exchanged a
special gift we each made for each other. I gave Yvethe a list of
333 reasons why I loved her and Yvethe gave me two beautiful
collages, one for each of us, detailing important dates, pictures,
Scriptures, quotes, etc. We framed them and I will post
pictures of them shortly. Yvethe and I also exchanged special
journals we had been working on. This was part of a project she came
up with and here is the story behind that...
At the beginning of our friendship, we were going at different
"speeds". One particular day, Yvethe expressed to me that, even
though she knew where she stood as far as her feelings for me, she
liked enjoying each new day as gift of God to get to know each other
better and enjoy it to the fullest, instead of trying to get to the
end of the 3-month test in our minds. She said it was like
unwrapping a present (each day) one wrapping at a time and enjoying
that wrapping until the next day came for us to unwrap a new day. As
she tried to make me understand how that felt "hands on", she came
up with a project for the two of us to work together on… We started
this September 24th and we wrapped an envelope for each day until
November 24th. Each wrapping contained a piece of paper which had
three things: A question we would like to ask the other person, a
Scripture, and something significant we wanted to share with the
other person (typically our own answer to the question). Each day we
would unwrap a day and journal our answers in a special journal and
this really was a way to share our views and thoughts and learn
about each other all through the 3 months. Imagine this: more than
150 different questions and answers from both of us! The final
envelope was empty because our present was to be revealed when we
presented it to the other person on Thanksgiving and shared the
present which God has placed in it (at least for me).
God
gave me a specific present which no one knew about except my main
accountability partner, and that was "the holy kiss." I told Yvethe in
the very beginning of our friendship that I did not want to kiss
at all until I was married and she was fine with that. During
the project, through a number of confirmations, I sensed God tell me
that He wanted to give us a gift as well and that it was "the
holy kiss."
He showed me four times in the Bible where it says greet one another
with "a holy kiss" and I sensed Him tell me we could have this
blessing (which it TRULY was!!!), but only if we kept it pure and
"without a hint of sexual immorality." So the initial idea was that
the envelope would be empty because the present would be telling
each other what God showed us about being together, but I put a note in
the envelope explaining "the holy kiss" and later, with her mother
watching on the webcam, we shared our first kiss, the kiss you see
in the pictures. So after dinner, we each spoke, exchanged special gifts to
each other, and exchanged the journals. I also presented her with a "purity
ring" and vowed before our families to keep
our relationship sexually pure until we
are married. I explained this to everyone and put the ring on her
wedding finger (the right hand one as it is the "Venezuelan way").
This ring has engraved on the inside the words "I will wait for" and
on the outside "my beloved", which are the names of Solomon and his
wife in the book Song of Solomon.. I will post a picture of this shortly. Lastly we asked for our parents blessing and
to pray for us, and Yvethe's father, followed by my father, prayed
over the both of us. The last thing was the kiss and it is
inexpressible how wonderful it felt to finally kiss this woman! So
this is how we began our "courtship."
Now the word "courtship" comes from an Elizabethan era in which
the ladies of the court were wooed and won by knights and lords of
the court through the process of frequent visitation, attention,
gifts and compliments. A man generally asked a woman’s father for
permission to court his daughter, which implied that the man
seriously and openly desired to pursue the possibility of marriage.
In saying yes to a courtship proposal, the father was granting the
man permission to visit his daughter, give her gifts, accompany her
formally to social events, etc. The two young people were rarely
left alone, but perhaps were allowed to sit on the porch swing and
talk, take walks together in the neighborhood, and perhaps even go
on chaperoned buggy rides. I asked her father's and mother's permission
to court their daughter, and even though I had been spending time with
her already, having their blessing was very important to us.
We are
enjoying each and every day of our marriage together now and we have never been more in
love! I honestly thank God every day for her and still can't believe
all that has happened leading up to my being with her. My friends are
all laughing because they know everything I have gone through, and they couldn't
be happier for me. One of my best friends said, "Wow, you really hit
the jackpot!!!" All I can say is that it is a
complete miracle and I couldn't be more blessed! Thank you
Jesus!!!
THIS IS LOVE... REAL LOVE.
THE KIND THAT MAKES YOU WONDER HOW IT COULD BE POSSIBLE... ONLY THROUGH
JESUS!